Today the class I had was fun, I had just one so I got out pretty early. When we were in the train with my friends they started talking about an accident one of them had some years ago, the descriptions were gory and very explicit. The thing is, I have hematophobia, and I thought I could handle it well if I tried hard enough, I didn't even saw the pictures he showed my other friend, but I started to feel unwell very quickly... I reaaally thought I could do it, I even squatted for a while to try to recover, but just seconds after I stood up I felt even worse; at this point they'd already realized I was being weird, because they asked me if I was dizzy, I said yes because I'm embarrassed of this phobia (I just think it's so dumb of me), and my eyes started closing and whop, I passed out.

I didn't realized the moment they catched me, or if I even fell or they just held me the moment I closed my eyes, I can't really recall, they said I didn't fell and that is good because the train was full and inevitably I would've fell over someone and mainly because it is dangerous to fall and hit my head or something. This had happen to me before of couse, but never with someone that wasn't my mom, not even out of my house or close by, I was in a moving metro an hour away from my house, hopefully I was with people I know.

I regained consciousness after some minutes I believe, I could hear them talk about some things, and how one of them was holding me, it was insane, I couldn't move nor open my eyes, last time I fainted I could open them but I couldn't hear, now it was backwards, such a weird experience. After some more minutes I could move a little, I was sweating like crazy too, and it stopped so the three of us got off the subway train. There I recovered before the next train came, we talked a little and they offered me water, but the way home was close enough to not buy water, I also don't like when people buy things for me, so I declined.

That was all, one of them went home because that was his station and the other friend kept me company until I got in the bus to my house, it was very crazy and I was kind of afraid, thinking what would've happened if I were alone, hearing someone random and then I felt bad, that would be very very dangerous, hopefully nothing happend.

pd: I didn't do too good on my math test </3 I haven't got my score yet tho.

I personally always thought to myself it was, even tho I've been doing this kind of thing without knowing since I was a child. I knew, of course, that I had strong feelings towards some people, but I also knew it wasn't something like I would (romantically) like those people.

It starts slow, maybe it's the fact that we have something in common or just the fact that I think they are really attractive. I always had a hard time "falling in love" with people, I just don't like people enough for them to be ok, I know that because I feel bad giving something I don't really have. My only ex-boyfriend, we were together 4 years, in which all of them he presented as a girl, I felt so confused by the fact that I was dating a boy all that time, when he came out of the closet, some weeks passed and I didn't care, we were broken up already so I shouldn't care about my feelings, nonetheless, I was happy he could finally be himself. I wonder, all the time, how bad I was as a partner. We didn't talk much, the last 2 years in our relationship we barely did anything together, not that I can remember.

I remember being "in love", but I was a very nervous person, I never broke the rules, and being with him was me, breaking a really BIG rule, I liked him enough for me to try and stay, even tho that had really bad consequences on me and my homophobic family.

He's an example, I started liking him because we had something in common, and in general he was really cute to me, but it ended.

Then I had this classmate, he didn't talk much, he was very short and had a bowl cut and was, to be honest, kind of ugly. I also knew he shared interests, but I didn't want to talk to him, because deep inside I knew he was kind of weird. And something happened, my friend told him I was interested in him, but I was lying, I wasn't interested in him in THAT way, my admiration was only a fantasy, but we started talking and, well, it was very disaopointing, he was very very weird, not just 2 weeks talking and he wanted me to say "I love you" to him! Then, I realized I couldn't keep on going, I told him I didn't like him.

He then stalked me for a year, I blocked at least 6 or 7 accounts of his so he doesn't intrude on my stuff, he's been very persistent to this day. I don't want to repeat that experience.

Those were some of the occassions were I fixated on real people, on that list can also be my best friend from when I was a child and some other friends I had in school.

The internet has made it very easy to find information on people, it has surprised me multiple times. Just now as I'm writing this, I searched the full name of the person I'm currently (not romantically) interested in, and I could find the city where he lives, the careers he has study/is studying, his id number month and year of birth, and some other things. It's fucked up because it was all of it in the first link! I didn't have to do anything, but when I search my legal name I don't even show, what has he done? LOL

Oh, he's my latest erm, interest? He's my classmate, I actually noticed him a month after vacations were done, and I was like "he's my classmate????" He was.

I don't want to describe him, I will surely forget about this with the years, but the main reason I was attracted to him was because he looks like a celebrity crush of mine, Zubin Sedghi the former bassist and vocalist of my latest favorite band Tally Hall :D HE'S AN OLD MAN, AND THIS PERSON, GUY, LOOKS LIKE HIM, A LOT, specially the beard. The only thing I will mention, he's 6 years older than me, and that was enough to turn this into a fail-ending mission, I will never ever talk to him, ever. Well, that was mostly it, it's the first time in years I do something like this over a person I know irl, I usually do this kind of "investigations" to influencers of even famous people, it's easy and kind of boring, but I don't do it enough to be considered a hobby lol.

I could keep talking about this, but I don't want to extend this a lot. I've been struggling mentally and this was pretty much a way to destress, it was working, but enough is enough, I should find a better thing to do than this.

Some weeks ago walking by a street market I came across the book Daddy Long Legs by Jean Webster, the only information I knwe about this book prior this was that it inspired Kyoko Mizuki when writting Candy Candy, for me that was enough and it was just 2 dollars, of course I needed to buy it.

First thoughts I had, I had no idea it was formatted as Judy's letters to Daddy Long Legs, I was so surprised when I read the book index! One singular chapter and then all letters! I hoped they weren't as boring as some other books I've read with that kind of format, but I was so wrong! Judy as a character is just so charismatic about absolutely everything, her point of view and the way she lives her life are written in the most fun, funny and interesting way, it was better than anything I ever imagined. I fell in love with the book in just 2 days.

I don't remember how many days it took me to finish it, maybe a week, more or less, it was a short book so I couldn't handle myself very well. I read the slowest possible so it wouldn't end so fast.

And the reveal at the end! Of course I knew! It was so obvious, it made me so absolutely happy, it's been a long time since a book made me feel that way, I enjoyed every second.

I can't recommend this book enough, I'm not that capable of describing every little bit because of the language barrier, but if you ever found this book remotely interesting give it a chance!

Papaíto piernas largas ❤

Just some minutes ago I finished watching Nimona, the new movie on Netflix, and OMG was it GOOD! I haven't watched new animated movies (except for ATSV) in a while, this was such a good surprise! I love animated movies/series, so I was expecting something like this, and so more it was based on a comic! That's so cool, it got me wondering how many possibilities have comic authors in having their creations move to a big screen, I want to check it out now, I've never heard of it before!

I always have a hard time focusing at the beggining of movies, I end up missing some crucial stuff, but here goes my mini-review. I got some spoilers before watching it, but it didn't ruin most of my experience.

Bal as the main character was really something! I first thought it was mainly about Nimona (that, it is), but watching everything from his perspective was very nice, and he got so much personality, it's the kind of protagonist you get for a well written one, something like that, I don't know how to phrase it, it's just not so common seeing characters with his physics to have that kind of gentle personallity, I loved it! And the cultural weight of everything in this world, I'm sure that that it's better explored in the comics.

Nimona's introduction was simply so fantastic! It was filled with personality and her design was so pleasing, her teeth! Also, I got something with the animation in the eyes, being so big and full with life, specially Nimona's. I decided to watch it in english so I could capture the feelings more, and because the spanish dub, for some reason, changed some names (not a big fan). Nimona's animation and shape-shifting was something I was so curious about, I always am about shape-shifting on video media, everyone has their own interpretation on how they will show the shape-shifting itself, it's such a thing, you can be so creative about it! It wasn't a big deal here, I guess, I was expecting a little bit more, but I'm so happy, she got to change to so many things, even other humans! I got so happy.

One thing that I didn't spoil was the main villain, I was so impressed with that too, I always like being surprised this way. And how we got to learn Nimona's past in her most vurnerable moment, I got so sad.

Also the conflict with Ballister and Ambrosius, the trust and the power of each one, colliding with one another, how their positions made everything so hard to undertand. I kind of wanted more political talk, in a "fantasy" way, if that makes sense, I feel rushed, but they did their best I know, sorry. The wall reminded me a lot of No.6 but without the social classes, I really wonder what was about the walls and the exterior, because the only "monster" we got to see was Nimona, was there any more like her outside? Where did she came from? That's why I wanted to check the comic out, but I'm not sure if this was like a full wrap up of everything lol BUT, NONETHELESS IT WAS SO FUN TO WATCH!

10/10 OVERALL <3

Some weeks ago I decided to finish playing Dream Daddy after 2 years of buying it, it needed to be done.

Every route by chronological order

The first route I played was back in 2021, Damien's route was fine, he was a good guy to me, we shared lots of interest so it was fine, uhhh it was a very long time ago, sorry, this is not going to be a very good review lol.

Second route was Brian, actually... I really disliked him by the first meeting, I don't like competitive people, but I was like "No, I can't not play his route just because of this dumb thing", mostly because... I like his design a lot, I was right, the dates were cute, and God I'm obssesed with the fish mini-game, I spent hourse trying to get the achievement, sadly I couldn't get it but I had lots of fun.

Third route, I went with Rob for the same reason lol I really disliked him in the beggining, and he's canonically kind of dirty, I don't like that one bit, but it was one of my favorites tbh, the end is very sweet even tho I have to say the last date is kind of a mess, I didn't like that one :p

Fourth, Hugo, it was very surprising, kind of sad we didn't have time to bond with his son, well, most of them in general, it's just 3 dates so it makes sense, but sad anyways. He's a sweet man, also one of my favorites, he was very nice but omg the fucking audio, I couldn't stand it, the quality is so bad it made me cringe everytime lol It was funny, so it was not that tedious I guess, I liked his ending a lot too.

Fifth (Difficult english word), Mat :/ What do I have to say, leaving me alone at a party where I don't know anyone but you (barely), not a good sign, he was... meh, boring, made me do the cringiest things of all, didn't like him that much, bad neutral.

Sixth, Craig... :3 Ah, Craig, my buddy, my bro, bro-lover, we love our bro things. He was very, very sweet, I liked it a lot, he's just trying his best and is a very good dad to all of his daughter, he's very chill and cared about my dad LOL There was also scenes that made me laugh so much, he's so goofy, I loved him.

AND LAST ONE, JOSEPH, Oh my God, I had a bad feeling about him, I was right, by far the worst, SORRY! I hate him still, maybe in some months this feeling will become softer.

Here's my Tier List, I had fun playing the game!

Characters: 7/10
Art: 10/10
Script: 9/10
Overall: 8.5/10

He just doesn't have time for ANYTHING related to class!!! I'm so tired and stressed, because I have a test tomorrow and Database Modeling is like... How will I know I'm doing it right if he doesn't have time to explain anything correctly, he's even watching tutorials on how to do WHAT HE'S TEACHING US AHHHHHH, I need to change him next semester, I can't handle people like him at all, so irresponsable.

I hope the test is not that hard, I think I'm very decent, I got a good grade the last test, but my Algorithm Programming's grade wasn't so good, hmm, I got a little too anxious that test. I think this time I'll do better (I NEED TO, OFC).

Class is draining me, I haven't draw in months now, I don't feel like I can, but I really want to. I'll try to do it when I finish this week.

I went to the cinema with my cousins and we started molesting some old ladies because they were kinda mean, my cousins transformed into 2 random guys that were shapeshifters, one turned in like an old youtube celebrity and the other one turned into a ball. We kept molesting this 2 old ladies until we entered to the cinema thing to see where we needed to watch the movie. We were so annoying that they called the guards and tried to force one of the guys (the ball one) into turning back to a human, he didn't want to so he started bouncing everywhere

Today a friend invited me to join them on the voice chat, it was my very first time talking with a native english speaker! We played a simple parkour game for the first minutes, I was very shy and I don't understand people too well when we just start talking, first of all, the language barrier, pronunciations I can't understand or words I can't pronunciate, the mic quality (for all of us) and well, talking to new people!

I went out for a moment and when I came back they were organizing to record a movie LOL Since I'm new in this group of friends that already know eachother I was very afraid, but they were all very kind, the didnt treat me wrong is what I'm grateful for, IDK, it's also complicated to explain how I feel, the thing is, I had so much fun! I hope I'm not disturbing anyone and they invite me to play again :3

Bahaha I had a bad grade today, noot that bad, but I've always had the best grades in school, I knew this would happen, getting "Almost bad grades" isn't something I'm used to. My friends say it's normal sometimes, but not in a encouraging way lol I know they are better than me in this kind of stuff, I feel like my head is full of cement and I get so so nervous.

I think I'm being more dramatic than I should be, my family says so, but what if I don't get better? It can't be, I'm suppose to work in this kind of stuff... for the rest of my life too! I can't be failing when I'm just starting (I'm not, but I feel like that). I wanted to get this out of my chest, so I can continue studying... Ah, I really feel so embarrassed when I have to ask for help, I feel pathetic, no one ever helped then, I shouldn't need help now, I don't get it, why my brain refuses to learn, is probably because I forgot how to do it in the first place. And even if I ask for help, I know they will think bad of me, because I always had it sooo easy to have good grades, why should I need more grades, you know? Something like that is what my family says, but the moment I don't get a good grade is my fault alone, aaah, this is so cringe! LOL I can't keep on writing about this.

Did you get the news? Kasane Teto on SynthV! OMG!